We all feel a little lost sometimes.
Maybe you just got out of a long-term relationship that you never thought would end. Or someone you considered a friend showed that you were apparently the only one who thought so. Or perhaps you lost your job, and still aren’t entirely sure how it came to that or what you’re supposed to do next.
When something bad happens we have a tendency to blame ourselves. We feel the need to find a reason for bad things happening, and it’s always easiest to blame ourselves. Why? Because thinking that you caused this turn of events and that by changing yourself things will go back to how they used to be hurts less in a way. Thinking you are to blame is easier than realizing the people you trusted and cared for were just not good people - at least, not good people for you. And even if you come to that realization you might still feel frustrated for trusting the wrong person.
When you start doubting yourself or blaming yourself, it’s a slippery slope to that big question echoing through your head:
Who am I, and is who I am good enough?
When you love someone, you might give pieces of yourself to those people. And when they hurt you, you’re left confused and questioning. Questioning everything, but mainly questioning who you really are, why something like this happens to you over and over again, and how other people see you.
If you’re in that state right now, or if you find yourself feeling like this in the future, and those questions start popping up, take a deep breath and STOP.
Stop doubting yourself. You are you, and that is more than okay! In fact, that is absolutely wonderful! You being yourself, being different and unique, is what gives this world color. You are a beautiful shade in a growing rainbow, and you don’t need to change a thing. Except for your feeling of self-worth.
Here are some tips and tricks that might help you find your way back to yourself, if you ever feel you have lost your way.
Here's a pen, now make a list.
This is a very important list, so listen carefully. Make a list, and write out everything you like about yourself. Everything you can think of that makes you a good person, a good friend, or a good family member. Done? Okay, great. Now, think of someone you love very much, and write a second list. On this list, write down everything you love about that person. Everything that makes them so dear to your heart. Once you have those two lists, read them over, compare them, and reflect on them. Why is this important? Well, if you ask your friend to write down a list of positive personality traits, they probably wouldn’t include the same ones you do, or as many as you may have been able to write down. That is because - let's say this together - We are our own worst critic. People don’t see you the same way you might see yourself - especially on those bad days. Your friends never doubt who you are, because you show it to them daily through little things you don’t even notice. When you feel down, look at those two lists, and remember to look at yourself through the eyes of a friend - not your worst enemy. You are amazing, and it’s time you start believing that!
Take some quality me-time or try meditating!
It’s hard to think rationally when you have that little voice inside your head always whispering something. That’s one of the many reasons we love to meditate. Meditation helps us get our mind off our current worries, and transports us to a more peaceful place - this is especially easy with our 3D and binaural meditations, available in your Bellabeat app! We urge you to give them a try if you haven’t already. They might surprise you!
In case you really aren’t one for meditating, that’s okay as well. Make it a goal to find your own perfect way to relax and regroup. Whether that is reading a book, watching cat videos on youtube, or just sipping on some tea and breathing fresh air. Whatever gets you to stop overthinking and take a breather. Once reality comes crashing back it might be easier to handle - they don’t tell you to sleep before making any big decisions for no reason.
Accept yourself, you're perfect in your imperfection.
Do you ever get the feeling that you’ve been putting in effort and trying your best at something, and yet it still doesn’t seem or feel good enough? We’ve all been there. Expectations end up causing disappointments, especially if you are trying to meet someone else's expectations of you. Don’t let this discourage you. Other people and their expectations do not matter. Why? Because they don’t know you as well as you know yourself. They don’t know your struggles, your thoughts, your worries. They don’t know the thoughts and feelings you fight through each day - so they have no right to expect anything from you. The only expectation you need to strive to meet is your own. And even if you’re not able to do that sometimes, that’s okay! Change is a process and if there are parts of yourself or your health you want to change, the most important thing to do is to simply start, persist, and accept yourself.
Accept yourself as the flawed yet perfect person you are, applaud yourself for doing your best, and love yourself for making this world a beautiful rainbow instead of a pile of gray slush.